Why I became a Birth Doula

I have always wanted to be mother. Ever since I can remember that was on my list of things I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to help and care for babies and children.

I looked after neighbourhood children in my early teens and was so excited for the birth of my youngest sister. 
I was 16 when she was born and I was able to be there to watch her delivery. I watched in awe as she emerged.It was such a fascinating process but not something I thought I wanted to go through any time soon.

Five years later in that same hospital I gave birth to my own son. I had a great pregnancy, I was happy and healthy and so was my son. Part way through my pregnancy I watched The Business of Being Born.  It really opened my eyes to possibilities I did not realize I had. I called the local midwife office to see if they could take me on. Luckily they had midwives available for me and I switched from my OB to their care.I had great kind and caring midwives and felt so relieved to be able to call them with my questionssince at that point no one I knew had recently had children for me to ask their advice. I was not at all afraid of giving birth and decided that it was best to have a hospital birth because we were in the middle of moving. I went into labour on a Wednesday evening very gently and swayed and rocked at my parents home until Friday morning. My midwife came and checked on me every few hours and decided Friday morning that it was time to go to the hospital for birth. 

My stepmother drove me to the hospital with my husband and the midwife followed. She filled out my paperwork and we went into the delivery room. I breathed and rocked. I pictured waves rolling and crashing as my contractions rocked, rolled, and subsided. My midwife suggested that she could break my waters and if the fluid was clear I could use the hospital tub for relief since my pain would increase with the break of the water. "Bring it on!" I remember thinking. We got the all clear and went into the tub where my husband poured buckets of water over my belly. I remember the voice of my stepmother so clearly, telling me how great I was doing. That I was "a rockstar". Shortly after it was time to push and I got onto the bed. I was pushing laying on the bed and though everyone was cheering me on, I didn't believe I was making any progress at all. I told my midwife that I didn't think I was pushing him correctly and she wheeled in a large mirror.  That was the best! I could see! In walked my sister and mother. Just in time! After 3 or 4 pushes my baby was out and onto my chest. It was just like a dream. It was all so beautiful and perfect.

After my experience I looked into Midwifery but decided I couldn't commit to that amount of schooling and it seemed like such a complex application and acceptance process. So I went back to work eventually to my office job at a print management company.

A year and a half later my sister became pregnant. She had some bleeding in her first trimester and so her family doctor recommended her to a great OB for her care. Her and her husband loved him and he gave them great care and information throughout her pregnancy. Her son was due March 8 and in her last week of pregnancy we were trying to get her to 'walk the baby out'. We walked and walked and walked at some of the biggest malls in the city. Three days after her due date she woke up and realized her water had broken so she called me and we went to the hospital. The nurses evaluated her and determined she had leaked amniotic fluid and so they admitted her. She was ready to rock her birth. She listened to music and danced and sang. A few hours later she was still not feeling any contractions and so they decided the best thing to do would be to induce labour with pitocin. She started having contractions and things started to progress. She went from very happy to full on agony and though her husband and I tried to make suggestions there was nothing we could do to help it seemed. We all watched the monitor, we could see the pain she was in. She screamed and screamed and all we could do was watch. Once she had an epidural she went back to being calm and happy. The baby's heart rate dropped and the team had to come in to help stabilize it. She rested for a few hours and then the nurses woke her, checked her dilation and encouraged her to try to push. After a while of pushing the baby's heart rate dropped again and the hospital OB that was on duty at the time, came in and let her know the baby was too high and would not come out and so they would have to prepare her for a c-section immediately. I left her and her husband and went out to wait with the rest of our family. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy. 

We were all grateful to have my sister and her son make it through the birth healthy and well. I couldn't however shake the feeling that things should have been different. Her experience was so different from mine. It was so much more intense and traumatic. She was in so much unnatural pain during her birth, and afterwards the grogginess and the chills from the drugs, and the pain of caring for a newborn and healing from the abdominal surgery. It hurt me to watch her go through that. 

Fast forward a few years and I was standing at a campfire with a lady talking about the birth of our children. She was 16 when she had her daughter and she was adamant she was having midwives and no medication. Her birth was fantastic and she had nothing but fond memories.  About two days later I received a phone call form my ex-husband about the birth of his daughter. His girlfriend was re-admitted to the hospital after an infection of her cesarean wound. We talked briefly about her experience and it sounded so traumatic. My heart hurt for her and I hung up the phone and I cried. I could not let this keep happening to women I thought. I have heard so many stories from friends and the theme was so common. Traumatic labour and delivery, pain and suffering. I knew I had to get involved somehow. So I went on the computer and looked up birth support. I came across Doula Training Canada. I was looking for a career change since my industry was slowing down and I saw that they had a training coming up in a few weeks. 

After my training it just seemed like everything was lining up and everything was making so much sense. I knew that this work was in my heart. I cannot change the outcome of a birth but I know that I can help bring reassurance and comfort to birthing women.  I am so honoured for the opportunity to be a positive part of one of the most memorable days in a woman's life.